America: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Weirdness
A funny thread on "X" (Twitter) looks at how the rest of the world sees us.
Ever wonder what the rest of the world thinks of us?
Perhaps you don’t care — many don’t — but much of the global community finds America to be a peculiar place, with strange habits and customs … things like our Goliath-sized meals, our oblong football, semi-open toilets, tipping, strip malls, our Panglossian optimism … and yes, our guns.
As a citizen of “X” (formerly known as Twitter), I’ve been exposed to all kinds of crazy … ideological wackadoodles, vapid space cadets, and a large collection of sewer-dwellers. Leastwise I’m an infrequent visitor; I mainly use X as a source for baseball rumors and story links.
Still, Elon’s $44 billion toy provides me an occasional look into the minds and thoughts of Twits from around the globe.
I must admit many of the international handles (names) and profiles confound me. Some are utterly bizarre. Chalk it up to cultural differences.
Anyway, a question posted by a curious Brit in late December revealed that World X has a lot to say about us.
The Question
This question posed by “Githii,” a social media analyst in the U.K., started a thread that went “viral” — more than 13 1/2 million views.
The respondents largely came from Europe and Canada, with a smattering from African nations, and Oceania (Australia and New Zealand).
Here is a sampling of the responses …
America: A “whole ass” continent?
Well, Ani, you failed Geography. Two whole ass continents make up the Americas, North America and South America. But we’re the alpha dogs in this hemisphere, with a population of 330+ million. So we call the shots.
Plus you got the spelling wrong: ‘Murica!
Oh, no Lizzo!
Mean Tweets! X is known for that.
Apparently, Cesar hasn’t gotten the word about being fatphobic! Here in polite society, we call them “Plus-sized” or “Full-figured.”
Yet he isn’t wrong. The CDC estimates that 42 percent of Americans are obese (er, “Plus-sized”).
Have it your way in London, Paris, Brussels and Prague. We’ll have it ours.
Flag Culture?
Obviously, Dr. Polk was not Born on the Fourth of July … and she/her doesn’t care much for l'Unifolié, either. But we pledge our allegiance to the flag and stand to face it for the National Anthem.
Speaking of which, did you know our National Anthem is based on a melody from a popular 18th-century English song titled “The Anacreontic Song” — written by a chap named John Stafford Smith?
Smith wrote “The Anacreontic Song” as an homage to the ancient Greek poet Anacreon, who was renowned for his drinking songs and odes to love.
Years later, Francis Scott Key wrote his poem “In Defence of Ft. McHenry” after watching the British bombing of the American fortress in Baltimore Harbor and fitted it to Smith’s tune. Thus was born “The Star Spangled Banner.”
So our National Anthem began as an English drinking song.
Such things deserve to be celebrated! So screw you, Dr. Polk!
Crosstown Traffic
So Blackjedi, obviously you’ve driven in Atlanta. Or been on the I-5 South in Los Angeles at 4 p.m.
No, not fun.
The Metric System
Donkey piss? Goat turds? We’ve been on the U.S. Customary System for 248 years, Your Royal Haughtiness. Old habits are hard to break.
Besides, it works. Don’t try to change us. We won’t give a centimeter!
Privvy Privacy
Is bathroom voyeurism a thing in Europe?
Anyway, notice how much wider the American stall is. We need more room than your average snooty, smelly, skinny-ass Parisian courtesan.
Oh, one more thing on toilets …
Crude, but as an aging male I certify this to be true.
Where’s Wonka?
Frannie’s wrong. The No. 1 chocolate maker in the U.S. has a city in Pennsylvania named after it, not a planet. And FYI Frannie … four of the five world’s top Chocolatiers are right here in America.
Besides, Snickers rule.
“Plastics!”
OK … Mondo has a point.
Tipping? Mais non!
To which Squints responded…
Take that, Jonas Jansson! Think about it next time Basil Fawlty takes 45 minutes to bring you your fish and chips!
Second Amendment
It wouldn’t be a proper X thread without some mention of guns. Lots of Second Amendment replies, but Alien might have put it most succinctly …
((mike drop))
Recommendation: De-Platformable Newsletter
Finally, I highly recommend subscribing to my friend Paul Macko’s “Deplatforamble Newsletter” on Substack. Paul is a marketing guru who writes on a wide variety of topics … Technology, Entrepreneurs, Marketing, Investing, Products, Art, New Business Ideas, Podcasts, and more.
It’s free (just click the banner or link), and always delivers something informative and useful.
###
Jim Geschke was inducted into the prestigious Marquis Who’s Who Registry in 2021.
can't stop laughing
Walt Whitman is laughing, too
the rest of the world can't stand
how we celebrate ourselves
The best is the metric system one. 🤣🤣.