"Brain Droppings"
Reflections and queries from a curious observer about our strange world.
If you have visited this remote little outpost in the past, you’re aware the author sometimes conjures or recalls random thoughts and whims and then haphazardly casts them to the world. It is a ritualistic cleansing of the mind, I suppose, and doubtless a habit of personal indulgence. So it is with this week’s offering: “Brain Droppings” … this aimless twaddle really does cross my mind.
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
Why is it that when two planes almost collide it is called a ‘near miss’ and not a ‘near hit?’
Why is it called 'after dark’ when it is really after light?
You are a billionaire: If you live to be 80, you will have lived 2,522,880,000 seconds. Think about it. You just spent 5 of them.
If someone today asked for George Washington’s ID could he just whip out a dollar bill?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
How does one get off a nonstop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
Why am I told not to stand in front of an emergency exit? Do you think I’d just be standing there if there's an emergency?
What happened to Old York?
Who opened that first oyster and said, "My, now doesn't this look tasty!"
Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?
Why is it that when you are sleeping it's called drool, but when you are awake it's called spit?
How do mermaids make babies?
If FedEx and UPS were to merge, the resulting company would be called FedUPs.
Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
"I am" is supposedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If you only have one eye ... are you blinking or winking?
If you have a gun and ask someone, "Can I ask you a question?" and they say "Fire away," should you shoot them?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible much more as they get older. Then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing.
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
What happens if you attempt a survival course … and don't pass?
Is a fly without wings a walk?
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Can atheists get insurance for Acts of God?
If you're in hell and get mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbits?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Why do they say "Getting my dog fixed" if afterward it doesn't work anymore?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you do, succeed or fail?
Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack?”
What do the Chinese call their good plates?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help?
If you mated a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu, would it be called a Bullshit?
If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
If an anarchist group attains political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?
Why do we say "bye-bye" but not "hi-hi?”
Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?
Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses?
Can you blow up a balloon while underwater?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouths full?
Why do dogs and cats walk in circles before lying down
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouths full?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
If you jog backward will you gain weight?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
Can a dumb person be a smart-ass?
Fact check. Yep.
— Dedicated to Steven Wright.
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Jim Geschke was inducted into the prestigious Marquis Who’s Who Registry in 2021.
Love me some good Steven Wright! I may have a couple of answers to these questions but I have to sit with it....