Celebrate the small victories ...
Life is a treasury, a garden of all things great and small ... but especially the little "W's"
“As you step out in the night take a lesson from the trees;
Watch the way they learn to bend with each breeze.
Little victories
Every time you make it through
It's another little victory.”
– Bob Seger “Little Victories”
I had a good hair day yesterday.
Normally my hair doesn’t behave very well. The comb guides it one way, but it goes another. I angle the part “just so,” hoping the tresses will neatly sweep across my brow. But often that hope is dashed, and the image in the mirror more closely resembles a Picasso painting.
But yesterday it turned out right. My hair obeyed. I’d concede it had a “Sundance Kid” vibe, but I don’t look like young Robert Redford. So I settled for symmetry and spiffiness. Honestly, at my age, I am thankful to have a full head of hair (though the grey now dominates the blonde).
‘A small victory. But a good one. I’ll take the “W.”
Life is a treasury
Life is not comprised of a series of triumphs and tragedies. Transcendent moments — weddings, births, big promotions, a Three Stooges marathon — are exceedingly rare.
Rather, our calendars are filled with the ordinary, prosaic tasks of survival and not daily victory laps. Think. When was the last time you had a truly exquisite piece of toast? Or had a “f**k yeah!” epiphany while pumping gas?
Compare everyday existence to a football game. A telecast lasts three-and-a-half hours. Games are measured in four 15-minute quarters .... 60 minutes total. About 100 snaps. But real-time action, with the ball in play, runs about 11 minutes ... the same time it takes to boil an egg. And there are only a handful are big plays.
And so it is with life. A prolonged broadcast, a few touchdowns, a punt here and there, bathroom breaks … and a whole lot of not much.
But just because you don’t spike the ball every day doesn’t mean you’re not winning. Life is a treasury, a garden of all things great and small. Joy is possible over white wine and cannolis.
Where the magic lies
“Yeah, sometimes life really sucks. But you know what I’m holding on for? The moments that don’t suck. The trick is to notice them when they come around.” – Veronica Roth
Small wins are anything you accomplish that aligns with your perspective. They can be easy to gloss over, especially if you’ve been raised on a diet of self-doubt or perfectionism. We readily feel rejection over failing; we almost never celebrate our little victories.
And that’s where the magic lies.
Believe it – small wins are just as important (if not more so) than the big ones. They are daily reminders of what it means to be alive.
The W’s: A model for well-being
Too often we dismiss the small things we do or what we have. Fact is, we are achieving all the time; it’s a myth that success only comes in reaching a major goal.
Understand this — our brains function best with consistent positive feedback. The little “W’s” add up. In so doing, we affix a “model for well-being.” The brain wants to carry on, to repeat the process. You become “wired” to fulfillment.
Contrast that to the neurological response to destructive behaviors, such as addictions (alcohol, gambling, sex, etc.). The newest addiction is the obsession with devices and technology, which provide dopamine hits of false or temporary gratification. Like the teenager desperate for “likes” on Instagram. Or the Twitter troll who takes delight in participating in a “ratio.” (a derisive “piling on” of an objectionable individual).
These aren’t wins. They are approval-seeking appeals to strangers, indicators of distorted hubris or fragile self-esteem.
Live in the Present
Often we hear about the importance of living in the moment. But somehow that concept is elusive. The “here and now” is minimized – it feels shapeless and inconsequential. So we believe the little things aren’t changing us.
But they are. Understand the only moment that really matters is right now. You are no longer the person who in the past conquered the world, or submitted to it. Yes, your character was built. And you may have added to your Curriculum Vitae. But put it in perspective — those accomplishments can just as easily be etched on your headstone. And you ain’t there yet.
So smell the coffee now.
Also, just as a reminder …
“L’s” are part of life, but …
Failure is OK. Failure is important. Failure ("L’s” = losses) teaches you things you don’t learn from success. It tells you exactly where you f**ked up.
But failure also doesn’t define us. Make them a one-off. Don’t give in, lie down, watch TV, or mindlessly scroll all day. Those are L’s. They are deflating and depressing. Too many people fold.
No wonder there are 50 million Americans on Benzos.
Order of Business: Make your bed
Small victories are private and personal. The breaths of life. You don’t have to walk across a field of fire. Just consider it a “W” when you can light a glass-encased candle without burning your hand.
Collectively, these wins will make you a little smarter, a little kinder, and a little more whole each day.
First order of business: make your bed. Chalk up an early win. Not coincidentally, “Make You Bed” is the title of Chapter 1 of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s best-seller The Twelve Rules of Life. A small thing, a trifling maybe. But it clears a path for the rest of the day.
Want to learn a whole new subject? Reading 10 pages of a book today will not significantly raise your knowledge. And maybe not even 10 pages tomorrow, and 10 pages the next day. Those 10 pages a day may seem insignificant; but eventually, they will lead to mastery.
Learn something new: bake a chicken, fix a faucet, mend a fence, patch a gouge in the wall.
If not a DYI, learn about Western Civilization. It’s remarkable. Something to celebrate. Read John Stuart Mill, St. Thomas Aquinas, Immanuel Kant, Fredrich Nietzsche, or Niccolo Machiavelli.
As stated, small victories are private and personal. You have your own "W’s” to embrace. But here are a few other common “wins” you might consider …
Hit “inbox” zero
Watch a documentary instead of Lizzo.
Put on crisp, clean sheets
Compliment someone without expecting one in return
Sleep in
Wave at children
Blow a big bubble
Learn to say “hello” in multiple languages
Say “no” without remorse
Be thankful when someone holds the elevator
Hit the stoplight just right
Return the shopping cart to the corral
Remember, if you can’t do the great things, do the small things in a great way.
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Jim Geschke was inducted into the prestigious Marquis Who’s Who Registry in 2021.
Thank you for reaching out to bring me here, Jim. These are great reminders when we get overwhelmed with all the noise in the world.
What a great article! So many gold nuggets all in one place and all so relatable.