Citizen (Comrade) Zorhan Mamdani

Is New York City going to elect its first socialist mayor? Can they afford it?

Jul 02, 2025

Just when the Democratic Party is about to go completely off the rails with no street cred, aimless leadership and facing the USS Trump juggernaut, now they’ve got to reckon with Zohran Mamdani, a self-styled nouveau-proletariat, Muslim, anti-capitalist, wanna be rapper and leading Democratic candidate for New York City mayor.

Mamdani is not your average politician: he is a 33-year-old hardcore socialist with a side hustle, a dreamer with a plan, and a champion of the déclassé. Sort of a kinder, gentler Marxist. The heartthrob of Queens has a personality profile so bizarre it’ll make you snort-choke your bodega coffee — part revolutionary, part TikTok influencer and full-time New York swagmaster. He looks like he could star in a Hollywood reboot of The West Wing, rocking a snappy suit while dropping policy proposals that would make those crazy Germans from the Frankfurt School blush.

New Yorkers might elect him mayor because they’re tired of having to choose between paying rent and eating. Whether he’s a snake oil salesman or just a guy trying to make NYC livable, one thing’s clear: Mamdani’s got the city’s attention.

“Don't you know the crime rate's going up, up, up, up, UP?
To live in this town, you must be tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough!

(Shadoobie, shattered)

We've got rats on the west side, bed bugs uptown.
What a mess, this town's in tatters, I've been shattered.
My brain's been battered, splattered all over … Manhattan.”

— “Shattered” (The Rolling Stones) 1978

Born to filmmaker Mira Nair (she directed Monsoon Wedding, so he’s cinematic royalty) and Columbia professor Mahmood Mamdani, he’s hardly from the third world lineage he attempts to portray. Zohran landed in NYC from Uganda at age seven, probably already arguing with his landlord about rent control and wearing Lightyear sneakers.

A Bronx Science and Bowdoin grad, he studied Africana Studies and worked as a foreclosure prevention counselor, attempting to save Queens homeowners from banks that treat mortgages like a game of Jenga. He’s also “Mr. Cardamom,” his rap name, and once spit bars about chapati and the evils of capitalism.

Politics seemed a natural direction.

The Mamdani Manifesto

Mamdani’s platform is like a socialist’s wet dream. He “out-Bernies” Bernie (Sanders) by an urban mile. He’s to the Left of the Far Left, wherever that is. Even the Jacobins are impressed.

He’s pushing for free city buses (because who doesn’t love a free ride), free childcare, open borders, a rent freeze on stabilized apartments, and — hold onto your Starbucks mocha latte — city-owned grocery stores to sell food at wholesale prices.

He wants to fund this utopia by taxing the ultra-rich and corporations, going after the highest-wage neighborhoods (read: rich and white), in his words, “to invest in public goods for the many." By the way, he favors defunding the police (“a feminist issue,” he says curiously) and plans to wage war on behalf of DEI and L+alphabet people, which would seem at odds with his good standing in the world of Islam.

He’s also been vocal about Palestine, calling Israel’s actions in Gaza a genocide, which has earned him the honor of being America’s No. 1 Antisemite. “Globalize the intifada” isn’t just a catchphrase for revolutionary uprising — it is his mantra. He’s a real hot ticket at Harvard, Yale and Columbia.

Love him or hate him, the guy doesn’t whisper his beliefs—he shouts them from the rooftops of Astoria.

And he’s good at it. Very good.

Make New York Great Again

First off, let’s address the “C-word” elephant in the room. Critics like Donald Trump have called Mamdani a “100 percent Communist lunatic,” which is probably the nicest thing Trump’s said about anyone this week.

But New Yorkers aren’t exactly clutching their pearls over the socialist label. This is a city where rent eats most of your paycheck, a bagel with a schmear costs $12, and you’re dodging rats the size of Chihuahuas. Mamdani’s “normie” pitch — making life affordable for the working class — hits harder than an eviction notice.

But New Yorkers aren’t exactly clutching their pearls over the socialist label. This is a city where rent eats most of your paycheck, a bagel with a schmear costs $12, and you’re dodging rats the size of Chihuahuas. Mamdani’s “normie” pitch — making life affordable for the working class — hits harder than an eviction notice.

His campaign was a masterclass in grassroots hustle — nearly 50,000 volunteers, mostly young, knocking on doors. More than $8 million was raised from small donors. His TikTok game is so strong that he’s got millennials and Gen Z voters swooning. He’s not just a candidate, he’s a phenomenon — part policy wonk, part meme lord, and full-time smooth-talker. Face it: the guy has superior communication and media skills. He’s user-friendly, whether doing an interview, recording a rap video, or doing a collective town hall.

New Yorkers are also fed up with the same-old, same-old. After Eric Adams’ scandals and Andrew Cuomo’s baggage, Mamdami’s “I’m not those guys” energy is refreshing. He’s a millennial immigrant who says he understands what it’s like to scrape by in a city that feels like it’s pricing out everyone but billionaires. Plus, his cross-endorsement with progressive Brad Lander and backing from heavyweights like Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez make him the cool kid at the Democratic prom.

NYT: “Uniquely Unsuited”

The New York Times called his agenda “uniquely unsuited” to NYC’s challenges, which is their way of saying he’s nuts, and rich folks are threatening to flee to the Hamptons if he wins. But Mamdani’s got a knack for turning skeptics into superfans.

He’s the underdog who went from polling at one percent to trouncing Cuomo in the primary. If he wins in November 2025, he’ll be the first Muslim, South Asian, and millennial mayor, making history faster than you can say “existential threat to democracy.”

Why vote for a socialist? Because Mamdani is the guy who would probably convince the MTA to run on time by promising the “trains free” therapy. He’ll turn City Hall into a worker-owned co-op and negotiate a group discount on bagels.

Will it work? Where’s the tax money going to come from when the Wall Street caste clears out faster than refugees in Escape from New York? How does the capitalist center of the free world reconcile the most anti-plutocratic governance imaginable? And what will happen if the NYPD is “defunded?” Will law enforcement be left to the rats?

No worries. He’s fully prepared to redistribute the wealth by hook or crook, making it “equitable” for all and quite a bit funnier. Besides, Mamdani’s the guy you want leading the city when the rent’s too damn high, the subways are always late, the books are deep in red ink and the rats are unionizing.

“Start spreadin’ the news …”

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