Fair enough. As a member of the genus for 67 years and having sired three of the same, I can speak with some authority to the topic.
It is said that men are simple creatures. There may be a scientific validity to this assessment. Research into eugenics reveals at least one primordial parallel between homo sapien males and a common reptile. So an excellent place to start understanding men is to take a quick dive into the limbic system, also known as the “Lizard Brain.”
The limbic cortex — made up of the brain stem, cerebellum, and basal ganglia — controls the human male’s most basic instincts: fight or flight, feeding, fecklessness, frivolity, ferality and fornication. It is so-named “Lizard Brain” because, as Dr. Joseph Troncale puts it, “… the limbic system is about all a lizard has for brain function.”1
There you have it, a neuroscientific link — men ~ lizards.
Of course, men are more complicated than that. But barely. A comparison of chromosome makeup of men and women bears this out:
Even a neophyte to genetics can spot the difference. Note the female “XX” forms complex, serpentine patterns while the male patterns are, well, simple and straight … something any 2-year-old infant could scratch out.
Random thoughts
What does this mean in real terms? Before we start, I submit a non-clinical summation of common male thought patterns (aka “Lizard Brain”) …
“If I get a running start I think I could make it to the pool!'“
Sees a button that says Don’t Touch … pushes it
“Oven mitts are for pussies!”
Definition of Airbnb … vacation spot with Beer n’ Boobs
(memorized) "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
(Guy catches a momentary glance from the hottest woman in the room) … Sniffs confidently: “Yep, she wants me!”
(Guy flexing biceps to make sure they still look swole) … Declares: “Man, look at these guns!”
“Remember the fun days in high school when we sat on the lockerrom floor — blindfolded and legs spread — while our buddies rolled a 16-pound shot put at us? Those were great days!”
‘62 Corvette.
White Noise: Ladies, when you ask him “What are you thinking?” and he says “Nothing” … believe him. God’s honest truth.
A brain scan of an adult human male at any given moment
OK. Time to be a little more pragmatic.
Men and women think along the same lines in most ways, but not all, regardless of what modern gender-benders say. No better, no worse, just different.
Ladies, if you understand these things (below) about men and how they think about themselves, relationships and mating it will make all the difference in your world.
The Power of the Compliment
If there’s one thing a woman can’t go wrong with, it’s a compliment.
Almost all men think compliments addressed to them are intrinsically true and heartfelt. Compliment a man and he’ll get an immediate dopamine jolt. It can be casual … he’s got dimples … he’s funny … you like his hoodie. Doesn’t matter, the male ego rockets to the stratosphere.
Women think twice about compliments, and rightly so … they are more in tune with the human bullshit meter. But to men, a compliment is an inferred sign of approval and affirmation. They starve for these.
Compliment a man and he instantly transforms into Jason Mamoa.
Men are easily beguiled
You may find this ridiculous, but it’s true. Men may know it and even be wary of it, but they just can’t help it. They are easily manipulated by women who flirt back, twirl their hair or flash a coquettish smile. Women who reciprocate male advances are instantly the nicest and prettiest girls on the planet.
Just ask Adam.
Want him to do you a favor? Bat your eyelashes and smile.
Especially to a cop.
Guardians of Virtue
Men think of themselves as the protectors. Ever since our early primate days, men were predisposed to be the hunters and the protectors while women were the foragers and nurturers.
Rekindle that instinct in a man and he’ll love you for it. So allow him to save you from the wooly mammoth. Or slay that bug in the sink.
Men love pleasing women, be it their wives, girlfriends or an attractive woman on the street. The White Knight is baked into his DNA.
Give him a chance to help you and he’ll forever fall in love for making him feel like a man.
Everybody wants to rule the world …
“Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on Mother Nature Everybody wants to rule the world”
— "Everybody Wants to Rule the World” (Tears for Fears)
(Please don’t shoot the messenger)
You may assume that men would be perfectly happy if women ruled the world. But it just ain’t so.
Most men would say “no.”
Men have always been the presumed breadwinners and the ones who play the leading role in the relationship. When the tables turn and the woman takes the dominant role, men feel emasculated.
When a man’s wife earns more than he does or pulls a #MeToo in front of others, he can’t help but get pissed off, or shrivel up and withdraw. This may make men look insecure, but it’s just the way they are.
Ask any guy who has ever lost a job. He feels his guts have been carved out with a spoon.
If you want to keep your man happy, even if you’re earning more money than him, never make him feel like he has no say or control over the relationship.
Men and emotional strength
Men think they’re intrinsically strong, but they aren’t, at least not inside the head. Men have big egos, but those egos are singularly fragile. And once it’s shattered, it takes a long time to nurse it back to life.
Be it an issue in the bedroom, or trying to woo a woman who is out of his league, if a man has a bad experience, it is all he needs to retreat into the heart of darkness. Men have dealt with rejection since the dawn of time; still, they never quite get used to it.
Don’t shatter a man’s ego (unless, of course, he’s an asshat and deserves it). If he doesn’t deserve it, he’ll hate you for it. He may sulk or brood after a devastating experience, but if you help your man-child resuscitate that ego you’ll have a bonding relationship where he’ll always depend on you to make him feel like a better man.
“Id” vs. Ego and Super-Ego
Most men think they’re intellectual and introspective, but they always fall for looks over anything else. Men are completely visual. Caveman “Id” takes primacy over Ego and Super-Ego.
Sorry. It may be primitive and shallow, but it’s true. So on behalf of all men, I offer a collective mea culpa.
It has been that way since before men could think. Now what may seem attractive to one guy may not apply to another, but it always comes down to infatuation at first sight. At the same time, infatuation and love are two completely different emotions for men (and I assume for women, too).
Either way, it is impossible to reverse millennia of evolutionary mating behavior.
So ladies, the next time you want to elicit that longing look or rekindle his romantic inclinations, dress sexy. Wear heels. He may ogle a bit, but he’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just being honest here.
Why Men do the Chase
Men know that a great girl gets all the attention in the world. So when a lot of great guys try to court her, she has a lot of options.
The great girl weighs her options and determines which guy offers her the best value while also testing her compatibility.
So what guys call a chase isn’t really a chase; it’s the woman’s way of choosing a mate. When that guy wins her affection, he knows he’s bettered the competition. Now, that’s a huge boner for his ego and he feels like he’s won a big prize.
Hail the conquering hero.
“To Be a Man”
Let’s get serious.
A lot of what I write is tongue-in-cheek in hopes of prompting a smile or two.
But sometimes a more weighty message emerges from behind the levity. A month ago, Canadian songwriter/rapper Dax released a passionate message that speaks to how a lot of guys feel about what it means to be a man in 2023.
This is heavy. And very real. Please watch and listen. Open the captions for the lyrics. Afterward, take a moment to scroll down the 42,000comments (so far).
Excellent! If I were a lesser man, I would have peed myself from laughing so hard. But you know, real guys don't do that. I learned some new phrases here too Jim.
Excellent! If I were a lesser man, I would have peed myself from laughing so hard. But you know, real guys don't do that. I learned some new phrases here too Jim.