Part 2: More words I hope disappear in 2022
Back by popular demand! An encore ... words and phrases that should vanish without a trace in the next calendar year.
Last week, I offered a series of words and phrases which I hope will disappear in the next calendar year. Why? Summum bonum (Latin) … and for our collective sanity. There has been a full frontal assault on the English language over the past five years … everything from new meanings for conventional words – “fluid” for example – to comprehensive glossaries of pure gibberish.
Then there are the empty words, the cliches and buzzwords people use, that provide no value to any conversation. I call these word fillers, like adding sawdust to your oatmeal, with you ending up with constipation.
Therefore I propose in Part 2 that the words below follow the same flight path as Icarus, the Greek mythology figure, and hope they meet the same fate.
General Pablum
Conspiracy theory: A rhetorical stink bomb when one ideological group accuses the other of political and social subterfuge. Conspiracy theory used to be the realm of legitimate nutballs … like the Flat-Earth Society, the Illuminati and people who claim to have been anally probed by aliens.
Now, they have gone mainstream, exposed from behind The Wizard’s curtain, with “conspiracies” a main part of every argument. Facts and evidence are rarely offered, only conjecture and rumor. Personally, I find the alien victims more believable.
Defund the Police: Try this instead. Allow somebody to ask you an impromptu “yes or no” question. Don’t think, just answer “yes” while at the same time nodding your head “no.” See what happens as your head explodes. Example: For men only … “Would you deliberately place your testicles in a vice?”
Rabbithole: Alice in Wonderland stuff. This occurs when something online piques your interest and you cannot drag yourself away. Not even to pee. You’ve been hypnotized by trivia and trifles. Then you look up and three hours have passed. You’ll never get that time back. Synonymous with “Deep dive.”
Broadcasting Bollocks
(Yes, broadcast “journalists” annoy me)
“As I said before”: We heard you the first time. It wasn’t very smart then, either.
“We need to have conversations”: A phrase (word filler, see above) commonly used by a broadcaster to end a a conversation. (((scratches head))) Didn’t you just have one? This urging usually comes from an interviewer who is incapable of having another one.
“More questions than answers”: On any given day, this is how a field reporter finishes a story when he or she has nothing else to say: This case has “more questions than answers.” I suppose it’s better than the reporter shrugging “beats the shit out of me.”
“Come to terms with …” : Competent news professionals will simply say “accept.” However, competent news professionals are in short supply. This hackneyed phrase is the equivalent to verbal bubble wrap. Me? I say “suck it up!”
Unpack: Breaking down a complicated issue or idea into its component parts. This is good for understanding the complexities of an idea. But this can be done most effectively in a long-form media platform, such as podcasts.
Unfortunately, “unpacking” is attempted by 24-hour news networks when a host conducts a group discussion with several “contributors” appearing on split screens. This quickly turns into a Tower of Babel, with talking heads fiercely stepping over one another. I would rather be waterboarded with 30 gallons of hot dog water than watch one of these.
Flatten the curve: To prevent hospitals from getting overwhelmed, the country needed to reduce the number of virus cases and stop the increase in infections. So, we needed a medical expert with a fifth-grade graph to say that? Along with everything else virus-related, I would rather flatten him with pieces of heavy mining equipment.
Cornucopia of Crapola
LOL: Also, LMAO, ROFLMAO, OMG It’s time. The use of these texting acronyms now outnumbers the National Debt. LOL was born, quite by accident, in a May 1989 newsletter called FidoNews in Australia way back in 1989. It’s time to bury it. R.I.P.
Pronouns: As a writer and English teacher, I labored for years to apply proper grammar and usage. This included the parts of speech. In grammar, pronouns always follow an antecedent, the word to which they refer.
Example: John put on his coat. His is the pronoun, John is the antecedent.
But apparently, with the emergence of gender fluidity, a concept brought forth by the identitarian Tooth Fairy, John isn’t necessarily a “his,” or “he.” John could be a “they,” or “them,” or “zhe/xe.” So could John’s imaginary friend, “Xyr.” Such a strange world we live in, that dysphoria could be accepted as psychological normalcy. Don’t believe me? Look up any random Twitter profile.
“Follow the science”: I approach this with some trepidation, as I am a believer in the sciences as the saviors of our Brave New World. That said, I also understand that in scientific discovery, nothing is ever certain. Any reputable scientist will freely admit that. In fact, they embrace uncertainty as necessary markers on the path to truth. Scientists must prove themselves wrong in order to get 99.999 percent right. In essence, they are the ultimate truth-seekers.
Unfortunately, it confuses many people to “follow the science.” Take the COVID debacle, in which science has been chasing an elusive and complex virus for almost two years. The scientific community has taken a beating from a skeptical public because “the science” appears to constantly change. I respectfully disagree. I’ll argue that politics has perverted the chase and convoluted the message. Admittedly there are bad players involved. But hopefully this slogan loses its cynical meaning in the coming year.
Peeps: Somebody thought it would be cheeky to abbreviate “people” to “peeps.” They amplify this crime with a possessive … “my peeps.” Any “peeps” using this word should be locked in a porta-potty, set aflame and dropped by a B-52 from 40,000 feet.
Gaslighting: A byward for psychological manipulation. In the olden days – that is, prior to 2019 – gaslighting was a term used to describe behavior in abusive relationships, where one partner controls the other by twisting his or her (or them?) sense of reality. Example: “That never happened” … or “You’re crazy … and everybody thinks so.” Today, gaslighting occurs when those on opposite sides of the political spectrum publicly hurl poop at each other.
Fuckery: A vulgarity stating the irritation and confusion of a situation. Wait, know what? I kind of like this one.
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