The feminist author did something extraordinary in 2005-6 ... she posed as a man for 18 months. The journey opened her eyes but ended up crushing her soul.
The trauma of a worldview in pieces around your feet would profoundly affect anyone’s sense of identity, regardless of the starting point. I went through something similar without the gender component, but it was equally devastating. Ultimately, it led me to Christianity as a foundation and a new life, lived in the service of the common good. I am truly grateful.
Thank you, Ian for your thoughtful comment. It appears you found something as a foundation for your identity (Christianity) that Norah could not in her long journey. Even better is your choice to use it for a purpose, as you say, "in the service of the common good." I'm glad we've crossed each other's paths.
Thank you for your tender elegy for Norah Vincent.
What a terrible tragedy that this brilliant loving woman lost her battle for life.
Her courageous exploration of what it is truly like to be a man
revealed truths that must have shocked her to the core:
Most men are not the villains her feminist ideology told her they are.
No.
Most men are highly vulnerable caring creatures
who are in desperate need of the love and acceptance of women.
Maybe she saw no place or herself within her new understanding of the world.
She was already a deeply depressed person--
always inwardly judged by her sadistic superego as a failure.
But now she saw herself as a TOTAL failure.
I would venture that the psychological malignancy (plague)
that eventually broke and killed her
was her passive acceptance of a lie.
The lie promulgated by her sadistic superego:
that passive surrender to its dictates (i.e., succumbing to despair) was strength.
Her ego bought this cruel lie
and concluded that surrender to death
was safer than coming out of her walled off passive despair
and fighting to embrace life.
Nora Vincent had a kind and loving soul.
She was seeking truth when she set out on her exploration.
She had tried and tried to overcome her sick mind.
But whatever treatment she may have had
did not strengthen her to the point that she could win the battle.
She ultimately surrendered completely to the victim position
of recurring failure/disappointment
and had herself euthanized.
Surrender was the seductive poison in her mind
to which I believe she was unconsciously addicted.
I am not blaming, I am explaining.
Despair is never the antidote to the seductive poison of passive surrender
which is harbored in smaller or larger amounts in all of us.
It is only by challenging our unconscious passive surrender
that we survive.
Nora Vincent's defeated ego, speaking prior to her death:
"Despair was strength. Despair was the scab and the scar. The walled city in a time of plague. A closed fortification. A sure thing, because it was always safer, less painful to stop trying than it was to repeatedly try and fail. Failure-disappointment-was a poison in my blood. Despair was the antidote."
Of all the people who may read this, I expected you to understand it best.
And I see that you "get it." That is, Norah's story is multi-layered with lessons for all of us. And you've nailed it here. Thanks for your thoughtful response, Deborah.
Hey DJoy. Thank you. I thought it was a fascinating story as well. That's why I wrote about it. There's so many levels to her story .... that's what made writing it so challenging and enjoyable. I'm glad to share it with you.
I have been working to cope with my tumultuous childhood over the last few years. I had never heard of C-PTSD. Norah, where ever you may be today. Thank you for your journey into that world of men. As one, it helped me to understand why I don’t understand. I’m sorry I was not there to give you a hug and tell you how much your book has ment to me. Thank you!
Just finished reading 'Voluntary Madness' and am listening now to 'Self-Made Man'. The first (later) book was interesting. Self-Made man I found kind of riveting. I have 2 sons, so I don't have to work at feeling empathy for them, but getting an inside view of what they have to go through to approach women was almost unbearable in some ways. I know she's gone now, but I thank her for the insight. It seems to have cost her dearly.
The trauma of a worldview in pieces around your feet would profoundly affect anyone’s sense of identity, regardless of the starting point. I went through something similar without the gender component, but it was equally devastating. Ultimately, it led me to Christianity as a foundation and a new life, lived in the service of the common good. I am truly grateful.
Thank you, Ian for your thoughtful comment. It appears you found something as a foundation for your identity (Christianity) that Norah could not in her long journey. Even better is your choice to use it for a purpose, as you say, "in the service of the common good." I'm glad we've crossed each other's paths.
This world is so big and we are so small. It is a miracle whenever two really meet. I look forward to doing so with you, someday.
I've made several new friends through Substack ... a benefit I was not expecting but have gladly embraced. And now, another one! How cool is that?
Way cool, Jim!
Please count me as another friend.
Thank you that through sharing
in the service of the common good
we substack shepherds get to build friendships
among ourselves as well as within our flocks
Jim,
Thank you for your tender elegy for Norah Vincent.
What a terrible tragedy that this brilliant loving woman lost her battle for life.
Her courageous exploration of what it is truly like to be a man
revealed truths that must have shocked her to the core:
Most men are not the villains her feminist ideology told her they are.
No.
Most men are highly vulnerable caring creatures
who are in desperate need of the love and acceptance of women.
Maybe she saw no place or herself within her new understanding of the world.
She was already a deeply depressed person--
always inwardly judged by her sadistic superego as a failure.
But now she saw herself as a TOTAL failure.
I would venture that the psychological malignancy (plague)
that eventually broke and killed her
was her passive acceptance of a lie.
The lie promulgated by her sadistic superego:
that passive surrender to its dictates (i.e., succumbing to despair) was strength.
Her ego bought this cruel lie
and concluded that surrender to death
was safer than coming out of her walled off passive despair
and fighting to embrace life.
Nora Vincent had a kind and loving soul.
She was seeking truth when she set out on her exploration.
She had tried and tried to overcome her sick mind.
But whatever treatment she may have had
did not strengthen her to the point that she could win the battle.
She ultimately surrendered completely to the victim position
of recurring failure/disappointment
and had herself euthanized.
Surrender was the seductive poison in her mind
to which I believe she was unconsciously addicted.
I am not blaming, I am explaining.
Despair is never the antidote to the seductive poison of passive surrender
which is harbored in smaller or larger amounts in all of us.
It is only by challenging our unconscious passive surrender
that we survive.
Nora Vincent's defeated ego, speaking prior to her death:
"Despair was strength. Despair was the scab and the scar. The walled city in a time of plague. A closed fortification. A sure thing, because it was always safer, less painful to stop trying than it was to repeatedly try and fail. Failure-disappointment-was a poison in my blood. Despair was the antidote."
Of all the people who may read this, I expected you to understand it best.
And I see that you "get it." That is, Norah's story is multi-layered with lessons for all of us. And you've nailed it here. Thanks for your thoughtful response, Deborah.
Jim this is such a fascinating story! I just ordered the book from the library.
Hey DJoy. Thank you. I thought it was a fascinating story as well. That's why I wrote about it. There's so many levels to her story .... that's what made writing it so challenging and enjoyable. I'm glad to share it with you.
Wow. Great piece of writing, Jim. Quite an interesting story. And sad. Thank you.
Thanks Paul. Very much.
I have been working to cope with my tumultuous childhood over the last few years. I had never heard of C-PTSD. Norah, where ever you may be today. Thank you for your journey into that world of men. As one, it helped me to understand why I don’t understand. I’m sorry I was not there to give you a hug and tell you how much your book has ment to me. Thank you!
Just finished reading 'Voluntary Madness' and am listening now to 'Self-Made Man'. The first (later) book was interesting. Self-Made man I found kind of riveting. I have 2 sons, so I don't have to work at feeling empathy for them, but getting an inside view of what they have to go through to approach women was almost unbearable in some ways. I know she's gone now, but I thank her for the insight. It seems to have cost her dearly.