There's something rotten in Manhood
Everyone agrees: American men are mired in a malaise. Traditional masculinity is seen as a cause, or a symptom. It's not. It's a virtue, and should be embraced.
I originally broached the topic of Men’s Mental Health back in Dec. 2021. It was a two-part series— Part 1 focused on men who struggle in quiet desperation. Part II spoke mainly to the force within, the stuff that makes a man a man.
The modern male is lost and has fallen well behind his female counterpart. He is maligned by society as non-essential — he’s social deadwood. Even worse, many label him as toxic and dangerous.
This is a follow-up focusing on what defines a man — and how modern society renounces traditional masculinity versus its true virtue. Many young men are at risk of dropping out of the game. They shouldn’t. Traditional masculinity is protective against—not responsible for—those risks.
One of the sillier vestiges of the 2022 Culture Wars was the question “What is a woman?”
The word trap was everywhere … on television, in editorials, and throughout the body politic. It prompted a massive and acutely nasty dispute on social media; “What is a woman?” trended on Twitter for weeks. Daily Wire provocateur Matt Walsh produced a mockumentary about it. YouTube critics echoed the meme. The question was even posed to newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson during her Congressional confirmation hearings.
Not a shining moment in the nation’s Capitol.
Clearly, the trolling ploy intended to push back against ever-growing Transgender activism. It was effective, especially in ambush interviews, where “what is a woman?” resulted in slow-blinking silence from dazed respondents.
It all seemed rather silly. Just another example of culture warrior one-upmanship where outrage drowns out real issues.
However, not so trivial is the more recent question of male identity and its biotic influence, masculinity.
What is wrong with men?
There’s something rotten in manhood.
There’s a consensus among social scientists that many young American men are mired in a malaise. They have fallen behind women by many empirical measurements: education, career paths and overall mental and physical health. Personal growth has stagnated; men are overwhelmed by insecurity and depression. And as men struggle, so to do boys. Their issues are reciprocal.
The factors behind this downward spiral are complicated. But it has become painfully obvious that men are failing or refusing to adapt to a new social order.
Modern progressivism sees men as guilty of the crimes of patriarchy. This belief claims male dominance is solely responsible for societal ills –- discrimination, oppression, family dysfunction and all social disparities, real or imagined.
Modern progressivism sees men as guilty of the crimes of patriarchy. This belief claims men are solely responsible for societal ills –- discrimination, addiction, family dysfunction and social disparities, real or imagined.
Men are being accused, tried and convicted … just for being men.
Whatever the reasons the crisis is real and reaching critical mass. The decline in their present-day fortunes in absolute terms augurs poorly for them several decades on.
The Crisis
Education: Males are well behind females at every level, especially in college admissions, where the sex ratio is approaching a 2:1 female imbalance. In the last 20 years, women have raced past men in academic achievement.
Relationships: Many young men are disengaging entirely from relationships. Frustrated by frequent rejection, or burned by divorce or romance gone sour, they are simply walking away. All too often these same guys never learned how to socialize with girls from adolescence.
A recent Pew survey found that more than 30 percent of young men between ages 20 and 30 have not had sex in more than a year. This was unthinkable in previous generations.
Insecurity and resentment have led to rage among self-designated “incels.” This is a group that has taken anchor in the online manosphere, where misogyny grows like cancer. (also: see MTGOW)
Careers: Men are increasingly dropping out of work during their prime years (25-40). Instead of chasing competence, raising personal value and building status, young men isolate themselves in a sphere of addictions … drugs/alcohol, porn, social media and video games.
Men are turning off, tuning out and dropping quickly.
Indigence: Men are exponentially more likely to a) commit violent crimes, b) become incarcerated or homeless, c) suffer from depression and other mental disorders and d) commit suicide.
How is this happening?
The goals for feminism in recent years have been largely focused on raising awareness about women’s societal struggles and the challenges facing them. But with this surge forward for girls, it seems as though the male aspect of gender justice has been overlooked.
Boys have been left behind. No commensurate movement has emerged to help them navigate toward a full expression of their gender. In elementary school, 10-year-old boys are treated as broken girls. Their natural aggressiveness is labeled as “harmful,” and is constantly being negated or tamped down.
Boys growing up without a father figure are at even greater risk. They are not taught to cope with problems or fend for themselves in a socially-acceptable manner. Without a guiding male voice gently but firmly leading them toward maturity, they withdraw, confused and uncommunicative. Too often they end up lashing out in anger.
Further muddling male development is the focus on gender ideology, a movement that has grown over the past 15 years. Boys are steered away from their natural masculinity and toward more docile-engendered behaviors, often influenced by educators or by the adults in their lives.
Things have become so bad, so quickly, that emergency social repairs are needed. But there’s no #MeToo for men and boys. Suddenly, urgently, gender equality means focusing on boys rather than girls.
Structural or Necessary?
“The problem with men is typically framed as a problem of men,” writes Richard Reeves in his book Of Boys and Men: Why Modern Male is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What To Do About It. “It is men who must be fixed collectively, not one man or boy at a time. This individualist approach is wrong.” 1
Instead, Reeves says there are structural problems that need to be addressed if men are not to become ever more lost and defeated. Reeves believes the crusades that have elevated women over the past decades need now to apply to men.
And while there is no shortage of contemporary advice on what men should not do or should not be, there is very little consensus on what constitutes a healthy conception of manhood.
Progressive Take: Move aside young man
Gender activists believe it’s high time for a turnabout. The detoxification of masculinity, progressives say, is a messy and necessary process; sore losers of undeserved privilege don’t merit much sympathy.
Besides, if the model of gender politics is zero-sum, the educational and economic decline of men may even be welcome.
Women had to endure centuries of subjugation and discrimination; should we be alarmed that they are just now managing to overshoot gender parity in a few domains?
The American Psychological Association Guidelines
The progressive view is corroborated by the 2018 release of the American Psychological Association’s (APA) “Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men.”
The document opens with the claim that “socialization for conforming to traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males’ psychological development, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental health.”2
The APA goes on to say that traditional male behavior includes elements of "anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, adventure, risk, success and competition,” all of which can be psychologically harmful to men and boys.
We live in an age, says the APA, in which there is a growing conviction that preset gender roles are a social imposition from which we need to liberate ourselves.
Shortly after its release, Psychology Today took the APA to task for its disparaging view of men and masculinity.
“… the APA document appears to be driven by an ideological approach in its continuous pathologization of ‘traditional masculinity’ while ignoring considerable evidence that aspects of traditional masculinity can be beneficial for men’s mental health.”3
The article calls the APA stance “bizarre” given that achievement, success, adventure, competition and risk have been associated with positive mental health in various studies.
Flawed Assumptions
The APA was correct to outline a set of common risky male traits. What it missed, however, is that traditional masculinity is protective against—not responsible for—those risks.
Current “anti-male” sentiment is in lockstep with the APA (or vice-versa).
But both carry flawed assumptions:
An deceiving misrepresentation of true masculinity.
Misguided conclusion that male role modeling is harmful to boys’ development.
Conflates masculinity with its public health risk factors and conjures tradition as the main causal link between the male sex and bad stuff.
The misconception that traditional male traits such as strength, leadership, assertiveness and ambition are founded on antiquated values and no longer proper gender codes.
What defines traditional masculinity?
Seems modern society has a cynical view of traditional masculinity.
Despite the trendy vision of identity as a choice, or a feeling, masculinity is not a social construct. It is biological … innate … and essential to male maturity.
See if I can help clear it up.
Aurora Theater Shooting
Remember the theater shooting in Aurora, CO, in 2012?
James Harris, a lonely, delusional young man (24) entered the Century 16 theater in Aurora during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises. Harris was dressed in military fatigues and a gas mask. He was armed with a shotgun, a semi-automatic rifle and a handgun. At 12:30 a.m. he tossed two smoke canisters into the theater and opened fire. Chaos ensued. In the end, 12 people lay dead and 70 more were wounded.
Among the dead were three young men: Matt McQuinn (27), Alexander Tevis (26) and Jonathan Blunk (26). When Harris opened fire, each of the young men instinctively dove on top of their girlfriends to shield them from the hail of bullets. All three men died. All three girlfriends lived.
Protection is a male instinct, a trait biologically and socially instilled in men for thousands of years of evolution. The three young men were lauded as heroes for their courage and sacrifice.
Is this the type of masculinity that the modern world wants to see eliminated? Are chivalry and its codes antiquated? Was the three men’s protective instinct indicative of an oppressive patriarchal superstructure that is keeping society down?
If you think so, then we don’t live on the same planet.
A “real man”
(Soapbox time)
Traditional masculinity is the idea that a man can be strong both in emotion and conviction, not in oppression or dominance. He is a place of tenderness and safety for those he loves, a source of guidance, comfort and patience.
Thus the term “gentleman.”
A traditional masculine man lives with integrity; he doesn’t ask for respect, he earns it. His strength is not determined by brawn, or a false sense of bravado, but rather by the strength of his character. He lives authentically and measures worth by who he is, not by what others say about him.
“A gentleman is a man who is gentle out of policy, not weakness,” says Harvey Mansfield, professor emeritus at Harvard. In his 2006 book Manliness, Mansfield tells us: “a gentleman declines opportunities to push himself on others using his will, to say nothing of greater brawn.” 4
As role models, real men adopt a style of nurturing that is different from that of most women. Theirs is an autonomy-supporting, risk-encouraging form of mentorship: a firm, respectful, yet gentle variety of caring that inspires strength by example.
Gandhi summed it up perfectly:
“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists of daring to do the right thing and facing consequences. It consists in deeds, not words.”
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Jim Geschke was inducted into the prestigious Marquis Who’s Who Registry in 2021.
Richard Reeves, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, Blackstone Publishing (2022)
APA Guidelines for Boys and Men. (2018) Link: https://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf
Rob Whitley, Ph.D., Psychology Today, 25 February 2019 (Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/201902/why-the-apa-guidelines-mens-mental-health-are-misguided#:~:text=First%20off%2C%20the%20document%20is,concise%20advice%20for%20practicing%20psychologists)
Harvey Mansfield, Ph.D., Manliness, Yale University Press (2006)
Enjoyed the article, Jim. It's sad to me that young men have shifted their trajectory in life. Isn't it unbelievable what's happened to the way we/they live compared to when we grew up? It baffles me. We need another Gandhi.
Thanks, Paul. I'm all for adapting to societal and cultural changes. But the condemnation of what real traditional masculinity is and means saddens me.